How to Rid Stubborn Habits
Scroll down to access 2 fun habit forming activities!
It all starts with honesty and a little self-reflection.
When we take an honest look at ourselves, sometimes we don’t like what we see. It seems easier to just look the other way, stay in the same place and avoid change.
Personal development and inner growth come from awareness.
Spending any time thinking about what we don’t like challenges us. It doesn’t always feel safe or comfortable. That is why so many often avoid it. Some hold a fixed mindset and don’t believe they can change. They may think “that’s just who I am.” But our actions thoughts and habits do not define us. We are not a thought, a mood, a feeling.
We are each miracles of creation and we are capable of change!
When we choose to continue habits that don’t serve us, glaring reminders meet us in their wake. One I often hear about is phone usage… Perhaps you scroll through your phone every morning before you get out of bed. This mindless scrolling may set you on a path for a mindless day, or worse. You may come across an incendiary post that puts you in an actively terrible mood. Each morning, even though you know it doesn’t serve you, you go ahead and do it anyway. Then comes the guilt trip which sets up low confidence and creates an excuse to not follow through on other responsibilities throughout the day. You can see this as self-defeating behavior, or you can view it as an opportunity for personal development. This is the first step to making a change in your life.
Be aware of what doesn’t serve you.
There is likely a source of fear that keeps you tethered to this self-defeating habit.
Your self-defeating habits benefit you in some way. It may be strange to hear it put this way, but why would you do something if it didn’t serve you at all? The catch here is that it likely feeds those personality traits, beliefs and mindsets that do not serve your higher self. Your tendency toward procrastination, for example, might be feeding your fear of success. If you keep pushing your deadline, not only do you get to skip working just a bit longer, you also stall the moment where you exceed the boundaries you’ve set for yourself. If you were to begin experiencing that next level of success, you may subconsciously fear a loss of control, lack of confidence, or maybe a sense of loneliness. We put ourselves through so, so much to remain in a space we deem comfortable. We do this despite our bodies and intuition raging at us to make change and grow. Pushing through the discomfort that comes with addressing our faults is worth the immense effort.
However, we strongly suggest seeking professional support if this strain feels like too much. If this is the case, relinquish the pressure you put on yourself until you have the tools and support to guide you through life’s challenges found with professional mental health help. See below for further resources.
Peel off the layers that bind you to this negative habit loop.
What draws you to this habit?
What do you get from it?
How do you feel while you are doing it?
How do you feel after you do it?
What is the worst thing that could happen if you changed?
What are you afraid of losing or gaining if you eliminate this habit?
Engage your mind.
Think on these questions. Write out these answers. Start talking to other people. Put it out in the universe that you want something different. Maybe you’ve had this habit for years. It makes no difference.
Make Things Easy On Yourself
A little of foresight and planning can help immensely when you’re trying to break old habits or forge new ones. Deliberately organize your life to help make your movements forward more effortless. For example, over the years I had started accumulating boxes of all sorts of different art supplies in a variety of mediums. They sat in one big box gathering dust and perpetuating my guilty feelings for spending all that money for nothing - not to mention that I had big dreams when I bought those supplies. Letting them sit in the closet like that is a perfect metaphor for the state of my goals during that time. I made the commitment in my mind to play in as many mediums as possible. My solution was to create one small drawer for each type of project. Embroidery, printmaking, watercolor, jewelry making - they each had their own small drawer I could pull out and use to get to work right away. What are some steps you can take to lighten your load? How can you make space for your new habits?
Don’t expect to change overnight.
The next time you are faced with the choice to engage in a negative habit loop, PAUSE. Think about your actions. Bring some mindfulness to the moment. Say aloud, “Do I want to engage in this behavior?” If you choose to do so, go easy on yourself. Breaking stubborn habits is a process. Try again tomorrow.
Every day is progress, even if we don’t make the choices that are best for us. We are still one day closer to success.
Show yourself some compassion & celebrate every win, no matter how small!
One day, like magic, you are going to be sick of thinking about it. You are going to be fed up with writing about it and reading about it and talking about it. That’s when it happens. Just like that, you start to SEE the change take place. It gets easy to make a new choice and not fall back into old routines. Now you have the motivation to spark change.
Here are two fun ways to make habits that stick…
A. Use a monthly habit tracker! Boundless has created one you can buy here, or search the web for other options!
B. Create your own weekly habit punch card!
Cut a piece of card-stock the size of a credit card
Write the habit you want to keep and why its important to you plus how often and for how many days you will do it.
Come up with a small prize or gift that you will give yourself once you complete your goal and write this on the card as well.
Draw circles or use small stickers to designate each day you will accomplish your goal.
Decorate your punch card with stickers, drawings or washi tape. Make it festive and fun so it puts a smile on your face every time you look at it.
IMPORTANT STEP: Take you punch card to the nearest office supply shop and have it laminated! This sounds silly but this makes your punch card OFFICIAL and IMPORTANT. It solidifies your commitment to healthy habits.
Now use your card for the next week and follow through on your grand prize because celebrating all wins, both big and small, is vital.
Help
We hope to inspire you to practice self-love and prioritize your holistic well-being.
While our offerings bolster your mental health, they are not a replacement for professional health care.
The content offered by Boundless is not intended to act as a substitute for professional mental health services. We are fierce advocates for proactive mental health care. If you or a loved one are in crisis, please seek support. Here are some options:
The interrogation of our feelings unlocks a deeper understanding of our values, purpose and fears. Instead of fleeing from uncomfortable emotions, let us practice exploration.